On Grief II


I just watched a movie that stirred such grief in me. I wonder about emotions. I write about being able to change the vibration to a frequency more desired. But sometimes grief is incredibly pleasant. I realized the degree to which I burrowed my grief. So much loss. But to what end?

Grief, sadness, overwhelm are all parts of a feeling of betrayed. In many cases, these feelings come from a sense of being the victim of something.

Have you ever had someone scream at you? Insult you? Or treat you in a way that is unconscionable? Here’s a thought. What if this person is treating you in this manner because they want to show you how they’ve been treated in the past. What if your job, rather than defending, is to offer a loving ear, a blessing or a compliment?  What if you, as a conscious being, have been given the opportunity to end the cycle of violence?  Next time it happens, whenever you feel the need to defend yourself verbally, consider thanking the person, instead.

Now, I’m not suggesting you stay in a verbally or physically abusive relationship, and by all means,   defend yourself physically if need be. I’m simply referring to refraining from hollering back if hollered at.

I had 3 experiences this last week where I was given the chance to return that which felt like an attack, with love. I replied with an equal attack, instead.

I’m not proud of this, but I’m not beating myself up for it, either. I came to my senses and apologized where I could. Make sense?

Ways to Release Grief

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Find grief in your body, your mind, your soul. It’s there, even if it lingers from something as simple from remembering how you felt when you lost a toy, to the loss of your child, mother or partner to death, or something else.

Sit and just feel the heaviness of that grief. Now, let’s start questioning the thoughts.

Now think of something that brings you absolute joy. Is it an accomplishment? The smile radiating from a child? The sunrise, or god as you understand god? The caress of a lover or a quiet moment alone? What brings you joy? What expands you?

For the next step, I want to say out loud, so that everyone can hear me, that I am never saying you shouldn’t feel what you feel. I’m not suggesting you stuff your feelings or feel guilty for feeling them. You have very valid reasons for choosing your emotion, and sometimes they feel like you have no choice but to feel what you feel. It may seem like if you don’t express the emotion you have, you’re not honoring what happened. In no way do I want discussions about choosing how you feel, used to add guilt or shame to your already crowded psyche. You feel what you feel, often unconsciously, and I’m simply offering another suggestion. These concepts are age-old, and I’m simply repeating what I learned, applied, and used to change my life. What I am hoping you understand is that you have a choice, even when you feel like you don’t.

Believe it or not, grief is a choice. I understand that this may sound insane. You’ve lost someone incredibly important to you, you’ve been fired from a job, you have a terrible illness and you feel horrible. The idea that you have to feel a certain way seems overwhelming. The idea that you have to grieve feels like you have no other choice. By questioning the thought, you can start to break through the hard emotion that may no longer be serving you.

Have you ever questioned the need to be in grief? Here’s a meditation:

Meditation

Be aware of your body and relax one muscle group that you’re holding tight, be it your jaw, shoulders or toes. Find one more and let it relax, let go, get soft, release. Find your grief. You can do this by feeling the feeling in your body, or find the center of your head and look at your screen. See an image of yourself in your mind’s eye and allow the grief to light up a color, red perhaps or yellow.

Understand that you are amazing, and awe inspiring. Allow your energy to amplify, fill up and expand. Watch what happens to that grief.  Expand more. See yourself as a balloon spreading out, opening up and expanding. As you continue to expand, what happens to the grief?

Do you see how it dissipates? Do you see how it releases and relaxes? Now watch this process and see where you grab back on to it.  Can you release that grief and simply let it fall? If not, why not? Do you see how you’re grabbing on to your grief and holding on? Do you see how it is your thought that you want it or belief that you need it that makes you hold on to your grief? Allow it to release one more time and fill yourself up with a big bubble of joy, above your head.

When you first let it go, what was the feeling or need to pull it back? For instance, you may believe that you are honoring your deceased loved one by feeling the grief. You may hear yourself say things like ‘well, I was raped, shouldn’t I feel grief?’, or ‘isn’t it natural for someone to feel grief after a divorce?

So, yes, we have those feelings. We have thoughts we believe and we hold on to how we feel. But what else is possible? Where are you holding on to your belief in your grief so tightly that you can’t breathe? How are you being served by this grief? Who’s grief is it? Do you need to feel it to take your next breath, step or thought?

Don’t change it, just question it. What are you holding so hostage about yourself that you’d rather be hostage than potent? Where are you being a victim to your circumstances?

As you comb through these questions, you may get actual answers, or you may just find relief in the question. “I have to feel grief, is this true?”

Now let’s go back to that sense of joy you created at the beginning of this blog. Today, as you go through the day, each time you feel the grief, thank the experience that brought this to you. See the experience as a butler with two silver trays extended; one with your experience of grief and the other with you experience of joy. As you feel the grief rise,  see the choice of both trays, and chose the joy. Again, thank the experience that brought you the grief, and chose to vibrate in joy.

As you do this, you’ll understand the ‘why’ you’ve manufactured to choose the grief. You’ll get more in touch and you may continue to choose the grief. The beauty of this is that over time, or very quickly, you will see that you are actually picking up the grief by choice, and you may decide to choose differently.

Please let me know how this meditation works for you. I’d like to hear comments as to how you’re feeling. Thanks

Peace, Paula

Fundamental Beliefs

We have Untrue Fundamental Beliefs about ourselves and the world. Just because we have this/these beliefs, doesn’t mean they’re true. Trouble is, the beliefs feel so incredibly true, it feels real. 

Here are my fundamental beliefs. 1) my presence causes harm. 2) people don’t really want to be around me. {they kinda go together, as you can imagine}. 

So I know it’s not true, but as Ms Andrews starts to tell us in The Sound of Music ‘somewhere in my youth and childhood…’, I complete it  with ‘I must have done something bad’. 

My life is good, and as I count down my last 2+ weeks of corporate job to head into the adventure of self-employment, my excitement mounts, but in the back of my mind, there is this nagging voice. I react to a small hint of that which feels like rejection. It’s the only place I truly feel weak. AND it goes against what I know to be true. – 

    1. My thoughts create my reality, or at least my experience of it. 
    2. There’s nothing wrong with me     
    3. I’m in charge or at least, co-creator. 
    4. I’m not alone. 

    The ‘I’m not alone’ part, we’ve discussed before. There’s another energy, entity or being that is inputting itself, or being called to interfere or act on your behalf. I came across such an entity recently I found in a woman I was attracted to. 

    I’m shy around her, which is incredibly uncharacteristic of me. I’m nearly embarrassed. I went in to meditation to read the situation for myself, and saw a warrior being protecting her space. Fascinating and something I’ll need to work with in order to be in her space. 

    Yes, we are all one in a very broad way, but from my perspective, there are beings without physical bodies who interact with us, just as beings with physical bodies do. 

    I’d love to invite you to work with me on you getting to know you. 

    Peace, Paula 

    I AM Unworthy, I’m not Deserving.. Liar

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    First of all, I AM – this is true. Unworthy? Not Deserving? This is impossible. It cannot be. Ever. At any time. There is no time you cannot be unworthy or not deserving.

    The idea of worthiness or deserving also don’t exist, but most of us wander around the planet with a belief we are not worthy. We are taught this from ego based religions and society as though we have the ability to be unworthy. We are taught that we aren’t worthy enough for *God*’. This is a lie.

    We are / We be – that’s the truth. There is no such thing as lack of worthiness because there is no such thing as worthy. We invariably have worth because we exist.

    Meditation

    Let’s go back to your feet, hands, or the furthest body part away from your heart. Just pay attention to that part of  your body. Deep breath. Is that body part, unworthy? Think of your brain, of your mind. Is this unworthy? Then what exactly is unworthy? Look around. Outside of your body, the only thing left is you, the spirit or consciousness. How can consciousness be unworthy? It’s not possible. Sit for a moment and simply allow yourself to be, without judgment, for one second. That is the beginning of freedom.

    So now you know. You don’t have a price, you don’t have an attached value, but don’t confuse that with the idea that you are unworthy or without value.. You ARE. Worth doesn’t play a part in this at all. We have innate value because we exist. We are invaluable. We are here, on this Earth, on this spaceship, on this heaven, if you will. The expression of the divine. We Be.. That’s all.

    Pay attention to and question your thoughts.

    Contact me if you would like help.

    Peace, Paula

    Law of Attraction 

    #lawofattraction

    Law of Attraction 

    See it, Feel it, Be it 

    The idea here is to put the experience in your present or past. Do you want to feel happy? Close your eyes and see yourself as happy, today if you can, but if that’s not possible, then yesterday. See yourself happy, yesterday. The important part here is the actual feeling of it. Be delusional, be crazy in that moment of pretending, just as you did as a child. 

    See it, Feel it, Be it®P1030584